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"Not Discussing Painful Matters Isn't Always Beneficial"

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Blog
byHayat Abkhar
onJune 28, 2024

In March 2024, a psychological and social support workshop was held at the Dar Al-Mustaqbal Association in Marrakech for the first time with female university students from different provinces. Their stories were incredibly moving, often bringing listeners to tears.

In the Dar Al-Mustaqbal Association, girls from different provinces (Al-Haouz, Ouarzazate, Taroudant, etc.) live together. For the first time, I attended a workshop with a team of facilitators for women's workshops on psychosocial empowerment. On our first day, we met with the girls and introduced ourselves, the High Atlas Foundation. We are partnering with Project HOPE for this program, and explained the reasons for our visit, being to assist their emotional healing and envisioning their futures.

After that, we discussed the earthquake and its impact, especially on those far from family and friends. When we asked if anyone wanted to share their story about the earthquake, we noticed that some girls were reluctant to talk. They said, "Can we move on without talking about the earthquake? It happened more than a month ago. We’ve forgotten about it!" However, others saw it as an opportunity to speak, saying, "I really want to share my story because I needed someone to listen to me without interruption!" There was great interaction, with many conflicting ideas.

We accepted all the ideas proposed by the girls and tried to explain our perspective. We asked again if anyone wanted to share their story, emphasizing the importance of processing trauma, grief, and pain, even months later. Eventually, many of them wanted to share. From one story to another, we witnessed the earthquake’s profound impact despite the outward claim that "it has passed, there’s no need to talk."

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What influenced me the most during the workshop was hearing the story of a girl from the Al Haouz province, specifically the village of Talat N'yacoub. By coincidence, I discovered we belong to the same commune. This girl, distinguished by her smile that hides a lot of pain, sadness, and the difficulties she endured during and after the earthquake, told a story that brought me to tears. As she spoke, her hands shook, and her words were mixed with crying. Despite losing her family and facing numerous challenges, she demonstrated patience, strength, and a belief that life goes on.

Through her story, I realized that those who said they had forgotten the earthquake needed to understand that the passage of time doesn’t mean we have forgotten or recovered. True recovery comes when we can talk about the situations that hurt us and learn from them.